Stern father: “Will you be albe to give my daughter all she wants?”
Confident suitor: “Oh yes. She says all she wants is me.”
In the waiting room of a hospital – the doc comes out of the O.T. with good news
Doctor: “Congratulations, sir. You are the father of triplets.”
M.L.A.: “What! I demand a re-count.”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Honey-dew.
Honey-dew who?
Honey-dew wanna go to the movies?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cook!
Cook who?
Stop imitating birds and open the door!
If you enjoyed gardening which magazine would you read?
- weeder’s digest
What’s yellow on the inside and green outside?
- a banana camouflaged as a cucumber
Why did the baby apple cry?
- His parents were in a jam
The women’s libber was very angry.
“Why do we say ‘Amen’ after prayers, and not ‘A women’?
Try this one: How do you make a Venetian blind?
- Poke him in the eye
And this one: What did the Persian carpet say to the marble floor?
- Hold it! I’ve got you covered!
Desperate employee to tight-fisted employer:
Employee (trembling): “Sir, could you please gimme a raise?”
Employer (shouting): Give you a raise? Give me one good reason.”
Employee: “Twins”
What’s Dracula favorite food?
Spook-etti
As you know all the real vampires live in Transylvania. And would you believe it, at the doctors clinic there, when he has finished with one patient he calls out: “Necks!”
Fanta Singh rang up Flight Information,
“How long does the flight to Agra take?”
“Just a minute…”
“Thanks.” And he put down the phone
Sign on a hospital lawn:
NO DOCS ALLOWED
One drink makes you ten years younger.
The second drink makes you a new man
The third makes you feel like a baby so that you crawl home.’
